A Kenyan mother working and living in the United Kingdom has expressed her frustration after failing multiple times to relocate her child from Kenya to the UK. The woman says that she has been getting multiple visa application denials at the British High Commission. She blames her baby daddy for the mishaps she has encountered, who she says has never been in the child’s life. Here is what she says:

“My son has been denied the UK visa multiple times to join me in the United Kingdom. The reasons for the denial of UK visa by the British High Commission are that I can’t prove beyond doubt that the father is not in his life. This is despite the fact that I have even gone ahead to get sole custody from the court and an affidavit from the baby daddy.

I’ve shown receipts proving that I’ve solely taken care of him since he was born. Anyone who has been through this? What else can I do to prove that the father has never been there in his life? I feel so lost because all I want is to re-unite with my son and take care of him since we have never stayed apart. I also need my job in UK.”

Here are some of the responses Kenyans gave to the situation:

You are approaching it the wrong way. They don’t care whether the father buys cerelac or not. He is the father. All they need is assurance that both of you have agreed that the baby should join you. Stop with all that sole caregiver narrative and approach this by assuring them that both parents are in agreement. – Lansita

I was once in your scenario few years back, solution is to get a good immigration solicitor, go to your local mayor and ask for appointment, they will write you a letter condemning British High Commission Nairobi for taking round in circles.  Sue the British High Commission Nairobi, and stop applying for new visas, appeal and take them to court, judge will grant you. If you can do a DNA test, (not mandatory) it’ll help. I applied for my child 2 days to her 18th Birthday, they also claimed the same issues you have. It took roughly 8 months from appeal date to being granted a visa. The British High Commission called her when she was in school prepping to do her KCSE. – Njeri

These are the reasons why people keep the father’s name off the birth certificate if he is an absent parent….this is what people foresee. – Mwende.

Ex US Visa Officer: What visa officers think about you as you approach them

You shouldn’t have filed an affidavit from the father, that shows the father is co- operating, a loving father who can actually stay with his child. Get a UK solicitor who specializes with immigration, Kenyan lawyers aren’t conversant with English law. – Suzi.

Who did you leave the boy with when you left? How has he been living without your presence? How long apart have you been away from him? Has the father been present while you were away? Is he in agreement with the boy’s relocation? Are you in consultation with him? – Raymond.

Maybe the mistake was the dad being involved at all (him giving an affidavit) because then it shows that the child’s father is still alive and can take care of him. We recently learned from the solicitor that you should be proving that there’s absolutely no one else to take care of your child while you’re away and whoever you’ve left him with is only providing temporary care. – Mary.

Get a new birth certificate without the father’s name. It’s hard but possible. Then apply for their UK visa with the new birth certificate. You will then be the only parent and don’t need the father’s consent but as long as his name is on that paper he can control your life with the baby. – Julia

Having an absentee father’s  name on the birth  certificate will cost people too much time and money. You now have to go through some advocates. You guys think its so easy to talk to someone who has been absent since the child was born? That might drain her psychologically. He might even decide to frustrate her to the last bit. – Genfay.

Listen to me carefully, get a solicitor to save you from applying multiple times.  I can share details of my solicitor, have never missed a visa each time I applied. I was in that situation too and I didn’t even proof full custody. Ignore those who say you need to be in good terms with the dad. Solicitors always write a letter and attach it to your application. So definitely you need one. – Nadhra.