There is some form of android-shaming going on right now in Kenya, and I won’t stand for it. Recently, I was having drinks with a group of fellow thirty-somethings. I only knew one person there, but we all got along pretty fine for most of the four-hour session until it came time to take a group photo. I offered to do it since I have a phone with a great camera, but then one of the ladies was like, “Ewww! An android!” 

She clearly had a Beyonce complex and I wasn’t surprised when she started asking around if anyone had the latest iPhone.

Because I am not the kind of person who plays nice when attacked, I quickly scanned the lady from head to toe and told her how her high heels were a little too small for her feet. Don’t blame me. I know I brought a nuclear bomb to a sword fight, but she started it, didn’t she?

There is nothing ewww about an android.  My shoe diss was the Waterloo in this particular scenario. The disrespect immediately, and by the end of it all, it was my phone that was used to take the picture. After that, everyone (except her of course) sent me messages of “Nitumie ile picha!”

It actually felt nice because “Nitumie ile picha,” is a line that most iPhone users are used to hearing. This request often causes them to get big heads and feel like the good Lord’s gift to Planet Earth. They’ll keep you waiting for days, you’d think you were still in 1998 and your photo had just been taken with one of those photographers who rode around in bicycles and delivered the final product after two weeks.

By the time an iPhone user sends you your photo, it has lost all of its “Breaking News” relevancy. 

The truth is that most people only buy iPhones out of peer pressure. It’s all down to the desire to follow the flock. Their friends have such phones, so they also go ahead and save for months, borrow loans, or even date people they normally wouldn’t date, just so that they can enrich Apple in order to not appear as the odd-ones-out.

Some will argue that they get I-phones because of the camera but that’s just an excuse. There are many phone models with good cameras. Apple doesn’t have a monopoly in the picture-taking department. After doing some intense investigations, I have also noticed that most iPhone owners still take poor photos. So, tell me. What is the point?

Admit it. You just want to flaunt that iPhone logo so that you can appear cool and successful. But are you really cool and successful? You want your friend to see the logo. You want your date to see the logo. But what happens after the logo is seen? Tales have been told of young Kenyans who have phones worth 250k but don’t have a single business or property to their name.

Validation isn’t necessary, and we should all just learn to avoid adult peer pressure.

In a past Oxford study that analyzed the behavior of humans, various adults were promised $100 if they performed a simple task correctly. The researchers found that being watched by peers had an influence on the actions of the individual. In sight of an exciting reward, the participants performed worse in the presence of their peers than when they were alone. Many people seemed to take more risks at performing the task, in order to get the reward, rather than concentrating on doing it right, but only when they were watched by their peers. Researchers interpreted these results as a lack of self-control that was worsened when surrounded by friends. In line with this, it’s easy to see how many people only bought iPhones to impress others, but never quite made their own lives better.

I don’t have a problem with iPhones. I have a problem with iPhone loyalists making it seem like other phones don’t matter.

ANDROID PHONES MATTER!

Sadly, the I-phone cult has spread all the way to the youngins.

In a recent Reddit thread, a man revealed how his daughter felt him and the wife were ruining her life because they were considering giving her an iPhone 13 instead of the Apple Smartphone model she wants.

“I have an 11-year-old daughter. We gave her a phone two years ago. It was an old iPhone 8 of mine. She mainly uses it for calling and texting with friends and social media. Recently she’s been wanting a new phone because her phone was old and all her friends have new phones. So, I thought the iPhone 13 would be a good option as it’s 600 dollars, has a good camera/battery life and it looks the same as every other iPhone. But she specifically wanted the iPhone 15 Pro Max because apparently ‘it plays console level games and has a 120hz display’,” the Reddit user wrote.

The user also added that as the daughter is a ‘gamer’, she ‘complains’ about not being able to play games on her phone. In the next few lines, the user wrote, “I think it’s a waste of money and I said no. My daughter then got mad at me and said I was ruining her life and that her best friend has a 15 pro max.”

“Honestly my wife is considering getting the phone and telling my daughter it’s a big gift,” the user wrote and concluded the post.

All this is unfortunate but the blame lies on the parents for “kuzoesha mtoto vibaya.” Every kid under 15 shouldn’t have a phone that costs more than 10k. In fact, it can be argued that these kids shouldn’t be having phones at all. Sadly, the peer pressure issue remains a factor. If your child is the only one in school without a phone, it becomes a problem. They start feeling like you don’t love them.

In the past, parents didn’t care whether their kids loved them or not. They would torture you like Jack Bauer, and then feed you like you were in a wedding, leaving you confused. Nowadays, things aren’t like that. Parents wish to have closer, non-toxic bonds with their children. 

So, will you keep buying I-phones? It’s your choice.

Personally I am resisitng this Eve-like Apple temptation, and I’m ready to verbally battle anyone who thinks I don’t have class because I have an android phone.