When a Kenyan moves to the United States or any other first world country, there is the illusion from their family that money in these countries grows on trees – especially if they are their family’s pioneer immigrant.

According to many Kenyans in the diaspora, not too many siblings and relatives fully comprehend the struggle that comes with making a living and surviving the extreme cost of living.

These Kenyans lament that the illusion of money back home has resulted in financial pressure to send black tax back home for every little need that arises. And because they don’t want to look like failures or get embarrassed, Kenyans in diaspora will keep sending money back home even when they can barely afford to sustain themselves.

This raises the questions: Is there a limit to how much one should send back? Can this pressure to be generous be the reason why some go broke while slaving endlessly abroad?

In a conversation that sought to provide answers to these questions, one Kenyan woman who identified as Mallard Angel provided insights from her financial experiences while living abroad. Here’s what Ms. Angel shared:

“It took me years abroad to understand that not every problem needs your money. And you can’t solve everyone’s problem even if people died.

With time I’ve overcome the need to “please” friends and family by just cashing out my bank account with zero returns.

I’ve learned how to minimize my efforts while maximizing on my small income streams. Whatever little money I get, it goes to things that actually matter.

Remember, when your relatives and friends suck you dry and you fail abroad,, they will be the first ones to say “how you lived abroad for many years with NOTHING to show for it”

No one remembers they helped spend all your money so living abroad requires you to put yourself first and truly prioritize… people back home are not bad people. But they are financially illiterate and unstable in most ways. They worry about hair, nails, going out at least once a week, alcohol and good time. Jobless people loan money to drink or spend on things that don’t bring any profits. Jobless people take Uber/taxis to move around, eat pizza out etc.

I have been refused UK visit visa because of these 6 reasons

It’s the only country so far I’ve seen jobless people having a better time enjoying than people like us who work 24/7.

They can never understand your struggles unless they come here and work on their own. You must learn to say No, and learn to block toxic relationships no matter how many years you’ve known each other.

Please remember some problems need a conversation not Money. Send sweet Audio messages and call it a night. You don’t have to prove a point each time just coz it’s expected of you to help with dollars, pounds or euros.”