Many times you have heard these questions reverberate
‘Why are you complaining?’
‘Man up!’
‘You should be grateful for the life you have.’
‘Don’t worry, everything will be okay.’
While these statements intend to offer some sort of relief, they do not always serve that
purpose. On the contrary, they may be more debilitating to the recipient because they
trivialize the situation that they are experiencing.
More often, it is easier to communicate positive news. We are wired to celebrate good
things and publicize this. We are encouraged to look at the brighter side of life and
embrace ‘positive vibes’. Passing a test, getting a new job, winning a tournament, these
are all momentous moments that signify growth. But is life all about wins?
End-of-year exam stress: Helping your children cope
Jack Ma the Founder of the E-commerce giant Alibaba and currently one of the richest men
in China with a net worth of close to $25 Billion knows quite a lot about failure and
rejection. He failed to land a job after numerous applications and was rejected severally
even for jobs where he superseded the qualifications. When asked what kept him going,
he said, “Well, I think we have to get used to it, we are not that good.” Treating
rejections as opportunities to learn and grow is what Jack Ma made of it. He saw these
instances as an opportunity to revitalize.
We shun failure and make it appear as though there is something wrong with people
who do not live up to the societal expectations of the epitomized success scales?
Retrospectively, these moments of failure allow us to reflect, reset and readjust our
goals. It is typical to get wrapped up in our emotions to the point where we are unable to
have a different perspective. This can lead to making permanent decisions on
temporary situations. Getting past that barrier of self judgment and acknowledging that
you need help is one of the bravest things you can do.
Toxic positivity has rendered us to assume that we need to always put up a brave face
even when deep down we are falling apart. The influx of social media accentuates this
notion through the prevalence of the ‘idealized lifestyle’ when in actual sense the so-called ‘socialites’ may be having it rough behind the screens.
SAFARICOM’S NEW “REVERSE CALL” FEATURE
Do yourself a favor by not getting wrapped up in the romanticized life of social media
celebrity wannabes. True celebrities will tell you about the many times they failed, sort
guidance, and rose. Perfection is overrated and no one has it all figured out. The ‘I can
do it by myself’ tag and ‘self-made’ mentality is a fallacy. We need each other to thrive.
So, the next time you feel like the walls are closing in on you, and you want to cry, cry if
you must. It is okay. Lie down for a bit, take a walk, listen to music, and scream if you need to. It is acceptable.
But, do not let that take away your ingenuity because when all is said and done, what
makes our life meaningful is the ability to overcome challenging situations. There is
always someone to talk to: be it a friend, family, or counselor. Take a deep breath and
be courageous enough to ask for help because that alone, can make all the difference.