When a Kenyan employer wrote to Bizna Kenya about a dilemma involving her househelp’s financial choices, she wasn’t looking to micromanage her. She simply wanted to help.

But the issue at hand is one of the trickiest: it combines money, faith, and personal freedom.

She wrote:

“I recently raised my househelp’s salary to KSh 15k from 10k. She used to give half her pay (5k) to the church, something I did not like, but she was open about it. I’ve just learned she is now taking 9k to her church after her salary raise, and they still call her for more. I know this is a sensitive issue since it touches on her personal beliefs, but as her employer, I feel she’s not doing it right. She has two kids who stay with her mom. They live in poverty in her Vihiga village. How can I talk to her about this without sounding insensitive to her religious beliefs?

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Bizna reached out to two personal finance experts, CPA Susan Mtana and Margaret Njeri for insight on how employers can navigate such complex conversations with empathy and purpose.

The employer has underscored that she has no authority over how her employees choose to spend their money. However, her concern is that the young lady could be funding the church at the expense of her children’s well-being and her future.

Respect first, talk second

“This is a very delicate situation,” says Margaret Njeri, a personal finance coach who believes empathy is the first tool in an employer’s arsenal.

Personal finance expert Margaret Njeri.

“You need to respect her religious choices because, in Kenya, we have freedom of religion. Faith and giving are very personal, so you need to respect her choices. You can also express admiration for her dedication and generosity towards giving.”

That admiration, Njeri suggests, can be the gateway to a bigger conversation about financial stewardship—managing money responsibly, not just for today, but for the future.

“You can slowly introduce her to financial stewardship, guiding her toward responsible money management beyond giving. Let her see the bigger picture—how she can balance her giving with planning for her family’s needs. You can emphasize that giving is beautiful and that God also wants us to be good stewards.”

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Start with questions, not accusations

Susan Mtana, another finance expert, agrees that tact and curiosity are more powerful than criticism.

“Personal financial management is really personal. Inasmuch as the employer has good intentions, she needs to understand that she has no control over how the salary is spent by the house help. The most she can do is influence her into right spending.”

CPA Susan Mtana.

Susan recommends steering the conversation toward the employee’s children and self-development rather than directly addressing the church donations.

“She can ask how much the kids’ school fees is, the quality of the school they are enrolled in, and how she normally pays. Even suggest if she can do a direct payment to school from her pay, in case she consents. The focus can be more on how she maintains the two kids as opposed to why she gives to church to avoid defensiveness.”

Teaching budgeting without preaching

On the other hand, Njeri suggested introducing basic budgeting techniques, gently folded into casual conversation. One method is the 50:30:20 rule, where:

• 50% goes to essentials (food, rent, school fees),

• 30% to personal and lifestyle choices (including giving),

• 20% to savings and investment.

“You need to teach her budgeting based on priorities, including tithing, basic needs, supporting her children, supporting her parents, and saving for her future. Giving is beautiful. But God also wants us to be good stewards. One scripture that speaks about financial stewardship is Proverbs 21:20: ‘The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.’ This verse emphasizes the importance of wise financial planning and saving for the future.”

Signs of a deeper concern?

What if the issue goes beyond faith and into possible manipulation?

Njeri encourages employers to be alert to warning signs—such as the church constantly calling for more money, or the employee being unable to explain the use of her contributions.

“If she struggles to answer or avoids the question, it may indicate something deeper.”

In such cases, she says the employer can gently recommend financial wellness sessions or even invite her to events they attend themselves.

“She may be interested in learning more about balancing giving and financial planning, but first ask her whether she is interested in these sessions.”

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Influence, don’t impose

Ultimately, both experts agree: the key is to empower, not control. Both suggested the employer reach out to a psychologist if she read signs of radicalization or forced giving.

“The employer needs to be tactical so that she doesn’t appear like wanting to take the kids’ responsibilities but influencing the house help to prioritize,” says Mtana.

And as Njeri puts it:

“You should empower her rather than dictate what she should do. Guide her toward seeing the bigger picture, particularly her future. You must approach her gently, respectfully, and wisely, ensuring that she feels you are not overly involved in her faith or giving. As an employer, your role is to care for and guide her, and you should do so with sensitivity and wisdom.