Chris Hart: You built your whole life around someone you trusted, and then, just like that, they’re gone — leaving you with heartache and pain. Even if the relationship was bad, you’re feeling lost and alone.

Maybe you’re in denial, hoping they’ll change their mind. But usually there’s no going back. Perhaps you’re angry, or promising you’ll change and everything will be different. Probably you’re feeling depressed. But you will recover.

How long that takes depends on your past relationship, how long you’ve been together, and who decided to end things. But it could take two years, so don’t expect to be back on track in a day or two. Accept that you will have to go through some pain.

And don’t be tempted to numb it all with rebound sex, drink or drugs.

Instead, acknowledge what you’re feeling. Talk to your friends and family. Tell someone at work. Stick to a daily routine, but also develop some new habits that re-establish you as an individual.

Missing someone’s like a craving, so getting rid of potential triggers will also help stop you feeling miserable.

So make your home feel different from when your ex was around. Move the furniture. Buy different soap. Avoid their music. Pack photos away. Unfriend them on Facebook. Unfollow them on Twitter. Don’t text, even though firing angry messages feels so good.

Don’t drink and dial. Instead, make new friends who don’t know your ex. Learn a new skill. Fantasise about a new career, with a new partner. Exercise — it will improve your mood. Ditto listening to your favourite tunes.

Avoid places you used to go together. And simply be courteous if you do bump into one another. Say ‘Hi’ like you would to a friend, have a short, impersonal chat, and say goodbye.

Deciding to feel some kindness towards your ex will help you move on. And when you’re ready, forgive them. If you don’t, you’ll never stop thinking about them, thereby becoming more and more bitter.

But how can you forgive an ex? Start by putting yourself in their shoes. Try to understand why they did what they did. Maybe it’s not possible to find a definitive answer, but at the very least, try to come up with some ideas.

Figure out what went wrong without obsessing over whose fault it was. Focus on the things you should change in your next relationship. See a professional if that’s difficult — or if your grief is ruining your life.

Everyone’s different, but most people feel ready to start dating again after a few months. So don’t think that your ex is the only person you could ever love or be in a relationship with. There are plenty of people out there ready for a relationship with you and who will make you very happy.

And don’t be afraid to love again. Of course there’s a risk you’ll be hurt again, but it’s worth it. Give yourself time to heal, at your own pace, and then give your heart to the right person. And your life will start again.

Smartwatches are going to be the next big thing. They’ll keep us connected, keep us informed, and make it feel like we’re living in the future.

A good smartwatch does three things: it makes it easy to see the time, it makes it easy to see notifications that show up on your phone, and it looks good, so you don’t feel like you’re wearing a computer on your wrist everywhere you go. It should allow you to keep your phone in your bag or pocket and only pull it out for important notifications.

Check out the types of smartwatches Jumia is currently offering.

U watch

Price: Ksh 5,999/=

Make calls from your wrist‎,‎ get real‎-time updates & notifications right there and answer your phone calls without having to reach to your pocket or bag‎.‎ You can also read your SMS‎’‎es quickly so you don‎’‎t are always aware of your day‎’‎s plan‎.‎

This is a new Bluetooth Smart U Watch which is compatible with all Bluetooth V2.0 or above enabled smartphones‎,‎ tablets and PCs ‎(‎support Android 2.3 or above‎)‎‎,‎ such as iPhone 6‎,‎ 5S‎,‎ 5‎,‎ 4S‎,‎ 4‎,‎ Sumsung S3‎,‎ S4‎,‎ Note 2‎,‎ Note 3‎,‎ Note 4.

Sony Smartwatch 2

Price: Ksh 17,999/=

The SmartWatch 2 is an impressive and stylish standalone watch with many built‎-in features and an impressive array of customising options‎.‎ It interacts with your smartphone over Bluetooth‎,‎ so what’s happening in your life is mirrored in your watch‎.‎

XTOUCH Smart Watch Wave (Black + FREE BT Headset)

Price: Ksh 6,999/=

This X‎-Touch smart watch has most of the capabilities of a phone compacted into the size of a watch‎.‎ It has Android 4.2‎,‎ you can use it to browse‎,‎ call and even sms‎.‎ It also has storing capacity‎.‎ So next time your friends ask you for your phone‎,‎ pull out your arm and tell them‎,‎ ‎”‎It‎’‎s already out‎!‎‎!‎‎”‎‎.‎

If you are not in the know, as of yesterday Jumia begun the mother of all Christmas offers.

And yes people, it’s not a hoax all deals are 100% real.

Starting from 8am to 8pm (12 hours) a new deal popped up for every hour with a total of 12 different deals ranging from Fashion to Electronics.

The deals were so sweet that at any one time potential customers were locked and loaded ready and waiting for the discounts to go online. As a result most deals got sold out vey first.

MINI BLUETOOTH SPEAKER – BLACK

Price: Ksh 1,600

DESKJET 1510 ALL-IN-ONE COLOUR PRINTER by HP

Price: Ksh 4,500

GIRRO Bluetooth Sub Woofer System

Price: Ksh 3,999/=

S5, 16GB – WHITE

Price: Ksh 48,000/=

JOHNNIE GINGER PACKAGE

Price: Ksh 73/=

52 inch ULTRA SLIM LED TV

Price: 29,999/=

GX7W 250 TABLET

Price: Ksh 999/=

Joshua Masinde: Many retail investors are often confused on where to pump their money in the financial markets.

However, one thing is always clear; their intent is to invest in gainful ventures. However, the challenge is how to get started, what to look out for, the risks and returns of available investment options.

The financial markets has a number of investment options that can be of interest to retail investors depending on their risk appetites, how much money they are ready or willing to invest and for how long they are ready to wait for returns.

Shares and bonds are the most common investment options in Kenya’s capital markets, so investors are often limited to the two.

Government bonds and corporate bonds bear a fixed return and are less risky compared to shares or equities, which have no fixed return but the gain depends on how they perform in the stock market.

Risk-averse

According to Old Mutual research analyst, Mr Eric Munywoki, bonds are good for the risk-averse investors seeking a fixed return on their investment over a given period. Equities on the other hand are high risk, high return.

“With shares, you can get better returns if you put your money in a company that has a high potential for growth compared to when you put your money in say, Treasury Bills,” Mr Munywoki says.

Returns on shares are not fixed or guaranteed so the investor typically has to have a high-risk appetite and hold the stock over the long-term.

Like investment bankers, advisers or stock brokers say, investing in the stock market should not be a short-term affair if an investor is keen on reaping higher capital gains.

Purchase of shares means that the investor owns a portion of the firm and they can benefit from capital gains or dividend, which is a fraction of the profits.

Investing in bonds simply means an investor advancing credit to an issuer and returns are fixed and guaranteed.

The investor does not have any voting rights in the firm he or she has lent money and does not benefit in any way from exceptional performance of the company.

The investor may choose to buy the shares or bonds in the primary market when firms are offering them for the first time or in the secondary market, when one buys them from another investor.

Bond holders are paid a certain percentage as interest on their money. They are also paid back the original amount that they lent to the company at the expiry of the bond tenure.

Most of the corporate bonds issued by firms this year have typically attracted yields averaging between 12 per cent and 13 per cent. NIC Bank, Diamond Trust Bank, UAP Group and Britam issued corporate bonds this year, which attracted high investor participation. The government securities on the other hand have returns of between eight per cent and 12 per cent this year.

The stock market has registered some of the highest returns on investments this year with Unga Group, Limuru Tea, Kakuzi and Longhorn shares making gains of over 100 per cent between January and November 2014.

Some analysts say that Kenyan capital markets have very few options for prospective retail investors. Some of the other forms of investment options expected to be introduced in the capital markers, which investors can take advantage of include municipal bonds and the Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITS).

Best returns

“The universe of investments is unlikely to change much unless we see new products in the market such as REITS. The challenge will be trying to figure out where the best returns can be made.

Clearly, if one gets promised a very good return for an investment, then probably the risk being taken is also higher,” said Eric Musau, a research analyst at the Standard Investment Bank.

Unit trusts, a form of collective investment schemes, can also provide small investors with access to professionally managed, diversified portfolios of assets.

The popularity of unit trust is not comparable to that of bonds and equities, but the Capital Markets Authority says their acceptance and popularity continues to grow.

They are typically a small investor’s answer in achieving wide investment diversification without the need of large sums of money.

“As a market becomes sophisticated and more volatile, unit trusts become safe havens for less sophisticated and less capitalised, conservative individuals in the market place,” says the markets regulator.

A number of the risks that investors should be wary of include political climate, exchange rate, inflation, currency, insecurity, current account and budget deficits, which affect the returns on investments.

Successful couples constantly reach out to each other to stay connected — with glances, smiles, touches, cups of tea, nudges, kisses and secret looks of amusement about the people around them.

Or remarks like “How was work today?” “That was delicious!” “What are you thinking?” “Are you upset about something?”

These little gestures, comments and questions really keep your relationship alive.

Psychologists call them “bids for emotional connection,” and happy couples make hundreds of them every day: “Did you hear about…” “You’ll never guess what happened…”

They show you care about each other, and are actually far more important than what you’re really doing together!

And yet we’re mostly unaware of making them.

What’s wanted, of course, is a positive response: “Do tell me!” Not a brush off:  “Don’t bother me, I’m busy…” Or no response at all, like a go-away grunt.

RESPOND ENTHUSIATICALLY

Because if you don’t respond enthusiastically, sooner of later your partner will stop approaching you.

And start snapping or sulking instead. And so your relationship slowly unwinds.

And you both start feeling lonely, wondering how you got there.

You got there by rejecting each other’s bids for emotional connection.

Does that mean you should always respond positively?

Of course you should! But it’s not easy if you don’t feel in the mood.

Or maybe your partner’s being too demanding. Or not taking account of what you’re doing.

You could try saying something like, “I’m sorry I’m such lousy company right now — I’m just so stressed…” but even that’s difficult in the heat of the moment.

It’s simpler to go back later and say “I’m sorry I’ve been so irritable lately…” Or “I was so busy last night I hardly even said hello when you came in…”

At least that way you’re making amends for hurting your partner.

TALK INTIMATELY

And talking intimately about not having been intimate together, which is actually a surprisingly good way to get closer.

Another problem is “fuzzy bidding.” Imagine having this conversation with a friend: “Let’s have coffee sometime.” “Good idea, but right now I’m just too busy.” “Of course, I understand. You’ll call me?” “Sure!”

Of course, you never get the call.

Which makes you wonder whether they really are that busy, or just avoiding you.

A better ending goes like this “…I’m just too busy.” “I do understand.

Do you know when you’ll be free?” “Let’s see — how about Saturday morning?” “Great, see you then!”

No dancing round the issue — a straight answer, right there.

OK, you could get hurt by a definite rejection.

But at least there’s no more uncertainty.

Avoiding being fuzzy is a really good idea.

Being perfectly clear about what you want — and asking for it. Precisely.

More often than not, you’ll be successful, and will be even more confident next time!

And ask yourself whether you’re connecting with your partner often enough.

Remember, successful couples do it hundreds of times a day!