Friday, March 29, 2024

Mr. Mafioso: What Makes A Man A Man

Mr. Mafioso: What Makes A Man A Man

Keep your word. If not, the only words you’ll have left are: “Would you like fries with that?”

In my particular line of work, as in most, a combination of competence and diligence is what makes up some of the best workers. But none of these traits are worth a damn if that worker isn’t reliable. Dependable paisanos are a dying breed these days.

Guys are hitting the snooze button one too many times, are not exercising their best judgment or are getting caught up with the booze and the broads — marone, you can’t even rely on a ride home from the airport anymore.  And if you think you can go it all alone, and the only reliable worker you need is yourself, think again.

No one runs a self-sustained business — and no one runs a self-sustained life for that matter. The guy selling dirty-water hot dogs on the corner relies on the bread man for his buns and then on his wife to clean his mustard-stained apron. So, whether you’re working with a street vendor or a street hustler, here are a few pointers for being reliable.

Punctuality is key

In a business like mine, five minutes can mean a lot. You tell a guy to be somewhere at noon because, well, if he isn’t, you might not have the option to wait the extra five. Punctuality stands for a lot.

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You might not see what the big deal is in punching in a minute or two late, but it’s worth the effort to punch in a couple of minutes early. It stands for something. It shows you have priorities, and being where you’re supposed to be is one of them. Don’t pull a Continental and arrive on your own schedule. If you can’t get somewhere on time, marone, get a better watch.

Keep your word

A man is only as good as his word. Once he breaks that, he’ll be lucky if he gets a gig at the drive-through. It’s a simple rule, but time and time again, we see guys breaking it. Some cafone says one thing, and he does another. Frankly, you can’t trust a guy like that. The foundation for being a reliable man is being a trusted one.

The words that come out of your mouth should never be put into question. Unfortunately, once you cross that line, all credibility is lost. So to avoid that free fall into the disastrous realm of deceit, remember: Keep your word. If not, the only words you’ll have left are: “Would you like fries with that?”

Don’t get distracted

Nowadays, with all the ADD. and ADHD, it’s hard to get something done ASAP. Distractions are all around us, but they can’t get in the way of getting a job done. If some goomah in a short dress is higher on your list of priorities than helping out a fellow paisan, then you’re in dire need of an adjustment.

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Reliable men have their priorities in order, and they can’t be consumed by selfish motives or an obsession with cheap tail. I know you got the video game system running and you have to update your Facebook status, but the boss will not be so understanding.

Take Don’t exaggerate for affect

The same gavones who started with “the dog ate my homework” bit keep the excuses coming later in life. They’ll have a story all the way to the unemployment line. But for most, there are often legitimate reasons for not following through with something. You have a couple of those get-out-of-jail-free cards in the bank.

The car got blindsided, the kid got sick — these misfortunes can plague any guy with a hefty to-do list. But when you start pulling these excuses out daily, you’ve proven that you can’t be depended on. The bottom line: If you have a legitimate reason for not following through, tell it like it is. Don’t start adding in a new storyline; we can all smell the bullsh*t from a mile away.

Take responsibility

When a favour is asked of you, you weren’t chosen blindly out of a deck of cards. You’ve been entrusted with something. Too many guys don’t understand the magnitude of that. Some don’t take it seriously, and some wind up in the ground. Take responsibility for whatever is asked of you.

Don’t make excuses; don’t take it lightly. Whether it’s big or small, be a man and own it. If you need to pick up a carton of eggs from the store, check the expiry date and make sure there’s not so much as a hairline fracture in one of those babies. But let’s hope for your sake that you’ve graduated from the egg runs.

I know I can be a hard ass when it comes to a man’s performance in the workplace, but I also know the true difference between a reliable worker and the guy who shows up to the office 15 minutes late. Your reliable worker rises to the top, and he soon becomes the one who weeds out the dependable prospects from the halfhearted cafones.

Whatever position you hold, the quickest way to the top is to show you have the capacity to be trusted. You’re the first one in the office, you’re focused on the prize, and you don’t take it lightly. That’s the man I want to call my paisan. That’s the guy who’s fit to run my family. But not too fast — I still have a couple of years left.

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