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How to make the first move on a man

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Thirty-two-year-old Charity Atieno and Dennis have been good friends for two-and-a-half years now.

In that time, Charity has begun to see Dennis as more than just a friend. “I’ve come to love him.  I want him to be my man,” she says. Nonetheless, Charity is afraid that she and Dennis may never date.

“He often speaks of how he cherishes our friendship and how he would never let anything jeopardise it.

This makes me wonder if I should let him know how I feel.” On one hand, such assurances on how strong their friendship is appear to be dulling Charity’s hopes of ever being more than just a friend to him.

On the other hand, she is convinced that they share a mutual bond. “There is no friendship that does not involve attraction.

If we had been good friends for such a long time, it was because we were genuinely attracted to each other.”

Nonetheless, though she has been toying with the idea of making the first move, Charity is intimidated by the thought of Dennis saying no.

“If he says no, I fear having to contend with the reality of rejection and the awkwardness that would characterise our friendship thereafter.”

Many other women are doubtless sailing the same boat as Charity.

Yet, with the right tone and approach, a woman can very well make the first move, leading to a blossoming relationship. But how do you do it? Here are a few steps that you can employ.

DO NOT FEAR

Granted, asking a man out can be very difficult. In any case, it is going against the grain to initiate a date, leave alone a relationship, with the risk of coming across as aggressive, masculine or desperate always present.

But according to Rhonda Findling, a psychotherapist and author of The Dating Cure, a man is likely to find it refreshing if you ask him out.

“Beyond that, it is empowering for the woman and puts her in a position of control in as far as her dating life goes,” she adds.
Know when to make the move: Bear in mind that you should not make a move on every guy you are attracted to.

PAY ATTENTION

If you want a serious relationship, pay keen attention to the man you’re interested in. There will always be pointers on whether your move will be reciprocated or unwelcome.

For instance, see if he references past conversations that you have had with details about your interests. Similarly, observe if he is consistent in how he interacts with you.

Does he return text messages? Does he call when he promised to? Is he reliable? These will help you determine whether he has an interest or not.
HINT, HINT!

If you’re too shy to make the move, give a clear green light. Most often, a man will hesitate to initiate a move if he feels that you’re not open to it.

Create room for date without coming across as too available. According to Kennedy Oduor, being flirty may cause him to recoil or give him the wrong impression.

“Be casual about it. For instance, you could casually ask him to check out a new bar or restaurant with you,” he says. “In such a case, he is most likely to end up on a dinner date with you.

Nonetheless, don’t be too vague about your intentions. According to eHarmony, instead of saying “Want to go out sometime?” you may consider saying, “Would you like to go with me on Friday night to that new restaurant downtown? And after dinner, we could catch the jazz concert at the Memorial Park!”
DON’T LOSE YOUR BALANCE

Don’t get too excited if he says yes. His agreeing to go out with you does not mean he is agreeing to start a relationship with you. A dinner date is not a direct ticket to a relationship.

In fact, a man may agree to a dinner date with you and end up saying no to a relationship. If he says no, keep in mind that his rejection may have nothing to do with you or your character.

According to psychologist Chris Hart, “a good man will not hurt you in the way he says no, if he decides to.” Spare yourself the unnecessary heartache, disappointment or embarrassment of pursuing your interest in him further.

Raila and Ida condemn foul remarks and heckling at Fidel Odinga’s burial

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The ugly incidents that took place at Fidel Odinga’s burial on Saturday were an embarrassment and downright disrespectful, Mrs. Ida Odinga has said. Denouncing the heckling of leaders at the burial site at Kango Ka Jaramogi on Sunday, Ida dissociated her family from them.

Ida said the views expressed by some leaders were not necessarily the views of her family. She however asked the leaders and mourners to pardon those involved.

Among those heckled were Lands Cabinet Secretary Charity Ngilu and her Defence counterpart Raychelle Omamo.

Omamo was reading a condolence message from President Uhuru Kenyatta when the crowd abused her and threw empty plastic bottles towards her.

Speaking at the same site, Raila Odinga, the habit was primitive and the youth were an embarrassment.

Speaking in dholuo, Mr Odinga said it was wrong for anyone to boo a person who had travelled from far to stand in solidarity with a bereaved family.

“In our culture, we believe whoever stands with you at a time of grief is your friend,” he told the mourners. “How do you turn around and boo such people and try to stop them from speaking?”

Among those heckled even as Mr Odinga gestured at the youths to calm down were Cabinet Secretaries Raychelle Omamo (Defence) and Charity Ngilu (Lands and Housing).

The youth threw plastic bottles at Ms Omamo, who withstood heavy heckling as she read a condolence message from President Kenyatta.

The Cord leader specifically condemned the booing of Ms Omamo, whom he described as a daughter of Bondo known very well to its residents.
She is the daughter of former minister William Odongo Omamo, who was once the MP for Bondo and Muhoroni.

“Uhuru was with me at home and in church to mourn Fidel. He deployed the entire State machinery to ensure Fidel gets a decent burial, then all you do is shout down his messenger. It is wrong!” said Mr Odinga. The conduct was a show of lack of respect among the youths, whom he said needed the help of those they shouted at, he added.

Work smarter, not harder

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You work really hard. In fact, you might not be able to work any harder. But you can still work smarter.Working harder can be an easy habit to slip into, though. Sometimes it’s hard to switch off at the end of the day or take time out on the weekend and stop thinking about work.

Take more breaks

On average our brains are only able to remain focused for 90 minutes; then we need at least 15 minutes rest. (The phenomenon is based on ultradian rhythms.) By taking period breaks roughly every 90 minutes you allow your mind and body to renew–and be ready to fire off another 90-minute period of high activity.

For some people, 15 to 20 minute breaks might be tough to pull off, but taking short breaks throughout the day can still help you to refresh your mind and reset your attention span.

Take naps

Research shows naps lead to improvement in cognitive function, creative thinking, and memory performance. In particular, napping benefits the learning process by helping us take in and retain information better.

Not only are naps beneficial for consolidating memories and helping us remember new information (handy if your job includes a lot of research during the day!), they’re also useful in helping us to avoid burnout, since research shows burnout is a signal that says you can’t take in more information in this part of your brain until you’ve had a chance to sleep.

Spend time in nature

Unlike natural environments, urban environments are filled with stimulation that captures attention dramatically and additionally requires directed attention (e.g., to avoid being hit by a car), making them less restorative.

Spending time in nature, however, allows your mind to fully relax and unwind and helps you focus longer when you return to work. Plus, other research has found that for students, motivation to learn is higher when they are outside instead of in a classroom.

[original:inc]

Are you an entrepreneur? (Video)

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Are you an entrepreneur?

That’s the question lingering in the back of all our minds. Quitting your job (which you vehemently hate) and starting your own business doesn’t automatically make you an entrepreneur, it makes you self employed.

What’s the difference between the two?

Well, the answer to that must first be tackled by a better question. What kind of a person are you? People generally fall into one of three buckets.

Technicians

People who are good at doing the work.

Managers

People who are good at managing the systems people work in.

Entrepreneurs

People who love building new opportunities out of nothing.

Check out the shot clip below. It might just help you classify yourself and find out if you are indeed an entrepreneur.

 

Fidel Odinga’s widow in moving love tribute

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Fidel Odinga’s widow, Lwam Gatechew Bekele, for the first time described him in a moving tribute at his requiem mass at All Saints Cathedral on Thursday.

“My Love where do I even begin? You defied all preconceptions, you made me laugh without a reason,” she said.

An emotional Lwam moved the mourners to tears in a short letter to her love. She surrendered her future and that of her one-and-a-half-year-old son to God.

“The living God who gave you to me will be there for us,” she said. Ida Odinga, Fidel’s mother, reassured Lwam in her own moving tribute.

“He has left a wife and that is our daughter and we will love you Lwam, you are an Odinga,” Ida said. She told mourners how at 18 Fidel said he wanted to go to a nightclub for the first time.

“I told him one, to buy your own Soda. Two, girls are not toys, respect them,” she said. President Uhuru Kenyatta said Fidel Odinga was a man who held no grudges and did not associate himself with tribalism.

“In December, Fidel Odinga called me and he wanted us to meet and I agreed but unfortunately that never came to pass,” he said. He added that the cause of death will be determined. “To Lwam we are as open to you as we were to Fidel, we are your elder brothers,” Uhuru said.

His father, Raila Odinga, said Fidel Odinga was a young, humble and humorous man, whose names ‘Castro’ and ‘Odinga’ earned him both friends and enemies.

Deputy President William Ruto who was among the dignitaries at the mass described Fidel’s death as a big loss.

“Castro’s death is not only a loss to his family and friends but to the wider Kenyan family,” Ruto said. His sister Winnie said he was an intelligent, independent and good elder brother. Fidel Odinga’s uncle Oburu Odinga spoke on behalf of the family.

“If his death was as a result of human hand, that person really calculated and hit us below the belt,” he said.

Wiper party leader Kalonzo Musyoka said Fidel Odinga stood for the good of the country. On behalf of his friends, Joe Nyaga said Fidel Odinga was a loving and true friend who taught them a lot about life.

“He taught us to live the life we love and love the life we live, life is short,” he said. Fidel will be buried in Bondo on Saturday. More than 10,000 mourners are expected.

Businessman Paul Kobia admitted at Aga Khan after saying he killed Fidel Odinga

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Controversial businessman Paul Kobia has been admitted at Aga Khan hospital after running amok. Police say his family took him to Gigiri police station after he became violent at his Runda home. Sources say he kept saying ‘I killed Fidel’, claims police have dismissed.

Acting Inspector General of Police Samuel Arachi dismissed media reports claiming Kobia had been arrested. “Mr Paul Kobia was taken to Gigiri Police station by his family who wanted to be assisted in having him restrained and escorted to a psychiatrist after he started shouting incoherently and acting violently,” Arachi said in a statement.

Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko said Paul Kobia had claimed knowing how Fidel Odinga died.

“He was arrested after he kept shouting my name and he claimed to know how Fidel Odinga died. Let him let Fidel rest in peace. We have handed him to the police who say he has a mental problem,” said Sonko.

Fidel died on Sunday morning at his Karen home. Pathologists are yet to release the cause of death.

Paul Kobia last year threatened Cord leader Raila Odinga and told him to respect President Uhuru Kenyatta’s reign.

The businessman with interests in gold is a licensed firearm holder who once attacked a business partner.

Witnesses said they saw police in plain clothes pounce on Paul Kobia before they bundled him into a waiting car and drove off. Police spokeswoman Ziporah Mboroki said they suspect Paul Kobia had “run mad” and had to be taken to hospital for check-up. “He was taken to the police station before being moved to hospital because we think he has run mad,” said Mboroki.
Paul Kobia has been moving in the city in a convoy of vehicles with some fitted with sirens. Officials said they are also investigating how he owns a gun. This was after his gun was confiscated when he was involved in a shooting incident along Limuru Road, Nairobi over an alleged robbery attempt in October 2014.

How to motivate your employees with no money involved

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We’ve all heard money can’t buy happiness—and it can’t buy total job satisfaction, either. If you want fulfilled employees, the answer is not to just keep raising their salaries (good news, right?).

Instead of using “carrot and stick” incentives, take advantage of employee motivators like job security, independence, and recognition of hard work.

Because, after all, the best things in life are free.

motivation2
[original:themuse]

Ann Wanyoro charged with aiding Paul Magu to murder his family

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Ann Wanyoro was Tuesday charged in a Kiambu court with aiding a suicide. Ms Ann Wanyoro, who was arraigned before Kiambu chief magistrate John Oyiengo, was charged that on diverse dates between November 23 to 26 last year at Mokongeni in Thika, Kiambu county she helped Paul Magu to kill himself. She denied the charge and her lawyer Waithera Mwangi requested the court to release her on bail.

However, homicide officer Gilbert Kitalia, who is investigating the matter, in a sworn affidavit sought the court’s permission to continue holding Ann Wanyoro in custody, arguing that the suspect might interfere with investigations if released.
“There is a possibility that more suspects linked to the murder of the five family members and dumping of the body of Lydia Magu at Paradise Lost will be arrested and jointly charged with the first suspect,” Mr Kitalia said.

The officer also told the court that they have credible intelligence information that unknown people have been visiting the rural home of Ann Wanyoro in Mang’u and her residence at Makongeni in Thika and they may harm her.
He added that as the investigations continue, they are likely to prefer more charges on her, adding that the charges she is facing attract life imprisonment if she is found guilty so if released on bail she might run.

Kitalia informed the court that they discovered that Paul Magu had appointed someone to hold several properties in trust, some of which are yet to be traced and Ann Wanyoro has knowledge of where the properties are located and might interfere with the probe.

But her lawyer accused the police of laxity in their investigations as they have taken 39 days to conduct investigations while still holding Ann Wanyoro.
Waithera asked the officer to produce enough evidence there have been people at the suspect’s rural home and in her residence who are out to harm her, adding that the suspect will not run if she is released. The magistrate is set to make a ruling a today as to whether the suspect will be released on bail and supplied with charge sheet and witness statements.

Pathologists fail to find out what caused Fidel Odinga’s death

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Pathologists said an autopsy carried out on the body of Fidel Odinga on Tuesday was unable to determine what killed him.

The government and family pathologists said that the first rounds of tests were unsuccessful saying that they will embark on a second round of tests Fidel Odinga who was the eldest son of former Prime Minister Raila Odinga passed was found dead at his Karen home Sunday morning.

The inconclusive results after examination of the body of Fidel Odinga by government and family pathologists at Lee Funeral Home from 7.30am to7pm, when a briefing was made, will prolong the agony of family and friends.
The postmortem was done by Dr DorothyNjeru, the lead government pathologist, in collaboration with family pathologists Dr Emily Rogena and Dr Bessie Byakika. The Chief Government Pathologist Johannsen Oduor supervised the exercise.

“We carried out the postmortem in two parts: body examination and body dissection. However we were unable to come up with the cause of death. We will now proceed to laboratory analysis to try and analyse the samples collected and the process begins now. Once we conclude we will give a comprehensive report,” Dr Njeru explained.
Rogena added: “We are in complete agreement with my colleague that it was completely impossible to determine the cause of death. We undertook an examination of several samples collected.”

Rogena explained they had carried out toxicology and histology examinations but could not determine the cause of death. “We call this examination toxicology and histology in the scientific language. We have taken a number of samples to establish cause of death. As of now, we have agreed nothing tangible was found in the body of Fidel Odinga to explain cause of death,” added Dr Rogena.

Journalists had earlier on Tuesday camped at the Lee Funeral Home awaiting a verdict on the cause of death of Fidel Odinga, however, the results were not made public until the statement later in the evening.

At around 11 00 am, the sister to the former Prime Minister Ruth Odinga who is also the Deputy Governor of Kisumu County arrived at the Lee Funeral Home accompanied by some friends. She later left the venue after a few minutes.

Wema Sepetu sells gift car from Diamond, says she’s happy for his new relationship with socialite Zari Hassan

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Tanzanian actress Wema Sepetu has sold the car she received as a birthday gift from her ex-boyfriend, musician Diamond Platinumz. Diamond acquired the Nissan Murano vehicle for his then boo during her birthday late last year.
He also threw her a star-studded birthday bash.

WemaSepetu says she intends to start the year 2015 afresh and focus on what she earns from her sweat.
Their relationship hit rock bottom late last year and Diamond moved on quickly to start off a new relationship with Ugandan socialite Zari Hassan.

But Wema Sepetu has also come out to say that she has no hard feelings about Diamond’s new relationship with Uganda’s socialite Zari Hassan.
Wema Sepetu spoke for the first time about the issue earlier on in the week during a radio interview in Dar es Salaam, just after returning to Tanzania from Ghana where she was shooting a movie.

“It didn’t work between us and I wish him all the best in his new relationship. They look good together,” she said.
Diamond and Wema Sepetu have dated for over three years until they broke up a couple of months ago.